To whom it probably doesn't much concern...
I have no idea how being painted in gold would affect the human body. Ask Midas.
YES, Sizwe Banzi is dead
NO, Nick Cave did not play Bad Boy Bubby. It was Nicholas Hope.
Meow Meow is NOT a country performer.
NO, Julia Zemiro is -- regrettably -- not lesbian. I've met her boyf. He's gorgeous and talented. (What's that? Why "regrettably"? Well, if I can't have her, I don't want any other man getting his paws on her!)
NO, I do not have photographs of (opera singers) Antoinette Halloran or Sally Matthews nude. Nor do I have pics of (actors) Bojana Novakovic, Anita Hegh or Helen Christinson nude. Nor do I have pics of (ballet dancer) Amber Scott nude. (Why not ask for the Virgin Mary while you're at it?!) And I very much doubt I would post them if I had... as great as they might be for my stats!
Bojana did have some very hot profile pics on Facebook, but she (and they) disappeared without trace. To see Antoinette, you'll have to wait (probably a very long time) for a return season of Andre Previn's opera A Streetcar Named Desire. (You missed out badly!)
I do have nude pics of -- no, wait.
Please note, this is a new -- and unrelated -- paragraph. As I'm sure I've noted before, Anita Hegh is in huge demand in the middle east, particularly in Iran. (Also in France, Spain, Dubai, Norway, the Czech Republic and Canada.) (A searcher in Lisbon only wanted her astral chart. Bless!) (And, to be fair, the Czech's didn't specify nude as often as the rest.)
Someone in Viersen, Germany, wants pics of Chris Boyd nude. Ahem.
Well, here's a hint. I'm the only past or present staff member of The Big Issue to have appeared in the magazine with booty exposed. Anonymously, of course. Get rummaging! There are only 300-odd extant editions! There might be a prize involved.
YES, Reed Luplau is a spunk.
'Erotoc' is a piss-spelling. (And not one of mine!)
Desmond Richardson is pretty, but hardly gritty.
Peter Brook does direct.
Maxine McKew is NOT a c*nt. (Wash your mouth out, Melbourne Victoria.)
IT IS, indeed, "our duty not to surrender the world into the hands of fools".
NO, Tanja Liedtke didn't commit suicide.
And, take it from me, Mr Sibelius of Finland, whoever told you "In some parts of Australia Tie me Kangaroo down sport is considerd a love song" was yanking your tail.
YahooSan of Tokyo: "MARYANN FUCK" hardly rates as a sensible search.
Tewksbury of Massachusetts wonders: "david mcallister man of steel erotic". Since David used to go by the nickname Daisy, I'm guessing he's probably more the latter than the former.
How disappointing for my visitor from Canberra who was looking for "lesbian groin grinding" only to get me! (LOL) Ditto Sterling Heights of Michigan, who was looking for "sleaziest ebony women".
Anchorage, Alaska offers: "innocence is a form of laziness"... in which case I am guilty of great -- er -- vigour. (Help me out here, what's an antonym for laziness?)
To West Lafayette of Indianna, if "teenagers are getting pregnant every 31 seconds", it's not my fault.
Someone in Barbados thinks "Mark Cleary is a jerk". S/he may very well think that, I couldn't possibly comment.
Schenectady of New York: the parrot doesn't belong to Laurie Anderson, it belongs to her brother, Chris.
Hope Valley in Rhode Island wants to "sew your ass hole closed". Youch.
A more chilling enquiry comes from Serbia And Montenegro: "sleep adjustment prison euphemism". It is indeed.
Whereas Ljubljana in Slovenia plaintively typed "i miss him",
Deloitte of Ireland wants to know the meaning of smashed windows in a dream.
Did you know there's a Kill Devil Hills in North Carolina?! Or a Parsippany in New Jersey? Or a Bialystok (!!) in Poland? Or...
Am I boring you?
posted by Chris Boyd at 1:51 AM
11 Comments:
harhar. SOme of my good-uns recently:
"poetry does not exist"
"write a persuasive letter to the maneger for an another interview because in my first interview i didnt done well"
"nobody knows but only god remember"
(on Yahoo - my blogpost on Big Love the first result!)
"victorian caning stories"
( I came in between 11-20)
Whereas Ljubljana in Slovenia plaintively typed "i miss him".
That line struck me as sweet and sad, and so, so human. *sigh*
Re: return season of Streetcar, Adrian Collette did say that it would probably go to Melbourne and seemed to suggest sooner rather than later. Presumably with the same Stella (wasn't she wonderful) and une autre Blanche.
I laughed until my head hurt when reading yours, GT. (I think I've already written about a hit I received asking "what is the rich people looking for in a maid servant cleaning rich house's"... ahem!)
Thanks for the hot goss Sarah. Perhaps I can fill the state theatre with the raincoat brigade... cos they all troll here. (LOL) I thought it was an interesting piece of theatre... a bit of a mess musically (overly eclectic, shall we say) but I'd be happy to have the opportunity to get to know it better.
And, Richard, I was hoping against hope that "I miss him" might have been a song title and Ljubljana was looking for lyrics or something... but no.
Because I'm a nutter (though not of the raincoat variety) I got to know Streetcar very well indeed, probably too well. Eight performances of the damn thing, which is enough for anyone and more than enough for me, because for all that I obsessed over it, I really don't much like it. I agree that it's a bit of a mess, to say the least. But it seems to be stuck in my head for good, words and music. I can play through it in my mind at night instead of counting sheep.
Nice to think you sold the opera out by yourself. But all eight shows?! Whoa. I thought I was a stalker cos I saw two performance (out of a possible three, I went first and last night) of Einstein on the Beach , all four-and-a-half-hours-no-interval of it!
Yes, eight. And in fact the season was only seven performances, but I went to the dress rehearsal too (from which Antoinette's raincoat-enticing scene was omitted.) I also saw the whole season of La voix humaine in Melbourne in 2005, which got me a mention in Lillian Frank's column in the Herald Sun.
But 2 out of 3 Einsteins seems at least as noteworthy and beyond the call of duty. I'm impressed.
You people are freaks.
Paris (France, not Hilton) wants to know "What are the risks of a blind date?" (Now, if it had been a blonde date...)
Sarasota, Florida, asks: "should a woman be appreciative when you call the morning after?" One imagines Jove and Juno havin' a bitch fight and asking Yahoo! to play Tiresius.
Equatorial Guinea thinks Daisy McAllister is Stalin too...
As for crazy stalkers, Q, I've just been talking to Meow Meow. Heh.
Heh... what? Oh yes I remember Meow Meow. She does seem quite obsessed, poor thing :)
But I meant theatre freaks. Very impressive.
I'm rather fond of 'nobody knows but only god remember' myself.
Post a Comment
<< Home