I have no idea how being painted in gold would affect the human body. Ask Midas.
YES, Sizwe Banzi is dead
NO, Nick Cave did not play
Bad Boy Bubby. It was Nicholas Hope.
Meow Meow is NOT a country performer.
NO, Julia Zemiro is -- regrettably -- not
lesbian. I've met her boyf. He's gorgeous and talented. (What's that? Why "regrettably"? Well, if I
can't have her, I don't want any other
man getting his paws on her!)
NO, I do not have photographs of (opera singers) Antoinette Halloran or Sally Matthews nude. Nor do I have pics of (actors) Bojana Novakovic, Anita Hegh or Helen Christinson nude. Nor do I have pics of (ballet dancer) Amber Scott nude. (Why not ask for the Virgin Mary while you're at it?!) And I very much doubt I would post them if I had... as great as they might be for my stats!
have some very hot profile pics on Facebook, but she (and they) disappeared without trace. To see Antoinette, you'll have to wait (probably a very long time) for a return season of Andre Previn's opera A Streetcar Named Desire
. (You missed out badly!)
have nude pics of -- no, wait.
Please note, this is a new -- and unrelated -- paragraph. As I'm sure I've noted before, Anita Hegh is in huge demand in the middle east, particularly in Iran. (Also in France, Spain, Dubai, Norway, the Czech Republic and Canada.) (A searcher in Lisbon only wanted her astral chart. Bless!) (And, to be fair, the Czech's didn't specify nude as often as the rest.)
Someone in Viersen, Germany, wants pics of Chris Boyd nude. Ahem.
Well, here's a hint. I'm the only past or present staff member of The Big Issue to have appeared in the magazine with booty exposed. Anonymously, of course. Get rummaging! There are only 300-odd extant editions! There might be a prize involved.
YES, Reed Luplau is a spunk.
'Erotoc' is a piss-spelling. (And not one of mine!)
Desmond Richardson is pretty, but hardly gritty.
Peter Brook does direct.
Maxine McKew is NOT a c*nt. (Wash your mouth out, Melbourne Victoria.)
IT IS, indeed, "our duty not to surrender the world into the hands of fools".
NO, Tanja Liedtke didn't commit suicide.
And, take it from me, Mr Sibelius of Finland, whoever told you "In some parts of Australia Tie me Kangaroo down sport is considerd a love song" was yanking your tail.
YahooSan of Tokyo: "MARYANN FUCK" hardly rates as a sensible search.
Tewksbury of Massachusetts wonders: "david mcallister man of steel erotic". Since David used to go by the nickname Daisy, I'm guessing he's probably more the latter than the former.
How disappointing for my visitor from Canberra who was looking for "lesbian groin grinding" only to get me! (LOL) Ditto Sterling Heights of Michigan, who was looking for "sleaziest ebony women".
Anchorage, Alaska offers: "innocence is a form of laziness"... in which case I am guilty of great -- er -- vigour. (Help me out here, what's an antonym for laziness?)
To West Lafayette of Indianna, if "teenagers are getting pregnant every 31 seconds", it's not my fault.
Someone in Barbados thinks "Mark Cleary is a jerk". S/he may very well think that, I couldn't possibly comment.
Schenectady of New York: the parrot doesn't belong to Laurie Anderson, it belongs to her brother, Chris.
Hope Valley in Rhode Island wants to "sew your ass hole closed". Youch.
A more chilling enquiry comes from Serbia And Montenegro: "sleep adjustment prison euphemism". It is indeed.
Whereas Ljubljana in Slovenia plaintively typed "i miss him",
Deloitte of Ireland wants to know the meaning of smashed windows in a dream.
Did you know there's a Kill Devil Hills in North Carolina?! Or a Parsippany in New Jersey? Or a Bialystok (!!) in Poland? Or...
Am I boring you?